A good argument is not enough.

Why do we need God?

(that is what I will spend the rest of my life answering and exploring)

What difference does it make? How does it matter in my day to day life?

(this was the honest and genuine statement of a friend of mine)

I say 'statement' and not question because I don't think he was really asking.

To many people, the modern day atheist is the pinnacle of humanity... celebrated as scientific, rational, logistical and free from the delusion of God. Isn't it common knowledge that science and the world of academics has uncovered the foundations of life? Hasn't research broken down the human experience to their most fundamental chemical components? Have we not conclusively shown that life is the result of an evolutionary process that was sparked by a spark that was thrown together by a bang? Let us drop the outdated belief in God. We know that the belief in God is the result of the ancient mind, constructed to make sense of what we now have all the answers for. Let us free ourselves to the pleasures and beauty of the world. We do not need God to live good lives. We do not need God to love our children. We do not need God to live our lives.

Okay then, there is no God. We can live by that creed, and if it is a good creed to live by, we must answer to it for all its promises, advantages and consequences.

There is no God. The only laws we are bound to live by, are those of the physical universe. The only influence outside of our humanity we need recognize or acknowledge is that of nature. Man is free to shape his own destiny. We need not God, we are our own god.

What do we know of nature? We know that the universe is the result of chance, which by chance gave rise to the planets, which by chance gave rise to life, which by chance gave rise to nature, which by chance gave rise to humanity.

So all the human laws, beliefs and institutions we make, ultimately are under the greater laws of chance and nature? But more so nature. For where does chance play into the law of our lands? How can chance be useful in the courts of the land? So we live under the rule and law of nature.

My next few questions are not intellectual ones. I only want you to answer as a human being. What are your hopes and dreams? What is the most important thing to you? What do you love the most in life? What makes life worth living? What are the most beautiful things in life to you? What gives you the greatest sense of meaning?

Now can we look at all those answers, human answers, in contrast to the laws of nature. Can we please be careful to avoid the irrational, unscientific, and mystical escape of anthropomorphism. We cannot give human qualities to nature. Nature as a force does not have personality. An oven can bake a cake, but no matter how many cakes it makes, it does not somehow take on the qualities of that cake.

Let us describe the reality of the force nature as per science:

Cause and effect.

Impersonal.

Unthinking.

Uncreative.

Incapable of right or wrong.

Incapable of good or evil.

Incapable of choice.

Now can we look at life as per nature:

Survival of the fittest.

The strong dominate the weak.

The strong feed off the weak.

The disabled and sick die.

The weak are expendable for the benefit of the whole.

Circle of life.

Unless a genetic mistake, all functions of life meant to continue the species.

Continuation of species ultimate function.

All functions are ultimately self serving.

Incapable of right or wrong.

Incapable of good or evil.

Basically right and wrong, good and evil do not objectively exist, they are subjective in their usefulness to nature. Delusions to influence us in the right direction. Love, pleasure, kindness, generosity, hope are all just tools of nature to give our species the best chance of existing. So what we label as the criminals and tyrants of humanity are simply the inferior functions of nature which because they were not successful were 'decided' not the best way to strengthen and continue our species. If however a super strong and intelligent group of humans with superior genetics managed to take over the world, kill all the inferior genetic men and women, and forced all the genetically beneficial women to have offspring... well if they succeeded that would be considered a success of nature...would it not? We see the same thing done in the animal kingdom, it is nature, we do not judge the animals for it.

I admit, there would be pain and suffering felt by some of the human species. Some of the human animals would be sacrificed. But it would be worth it for the whole. It is justified for the goal of continuing the human species, and ensuring it is at its strongest.

The origin of humanity is chance to nature, nature to humans.

The ultimate purpose of humanity is survival.

The ultimate purpose of humans is to continue the species.

The destiny of humans is to spread genetic material if successful, then die.

The destiny of humanity is to survive as a species for as long as possible.

There is a 99.9999999999999~% chance that we will not survive the inevitable collapse of the sun.

But there was also a 99.999999999999999999999999~(add another 50 or so nines) that humans would not exist, so we are a pretty lucky bunch.

We should be fine, we still have a chance. Who needs God anyways. I'm just glad guilt, remorse, regret, sin, evil, wrong, hate, rape, murder, genocide etc. are just a part of nature. All this time I've been feeling kind of bad and sad about all of that stuff! Now that I understand all that is just a part of nature, life is so much happier. I'll just make sure I never hurt anyone genetically superior to myself and I can die at peace with knowing I fulfilled my function.

It just seems so cruel that nature and evolution made love, because then we are capable of grief.

And why did evolution invent the idea of eternity? it makes us search for meaning! and then when we can't find it we get all suicidal and hopeless. And what the heck is the purpose in seeing beauty in nature? it just makes us sad to see it's destruction. Nature sure does seem cruel.

I guess that's why nature and evolution made-up the idea of God, so that we wouldn't blame nature and hurt it's feelings. So something made nothing (the universe), chance made nature, then nature by chance made you and me. And somehow personality, meaning, love, the idea of eternity, the ability to make a choice, the ability to make moral decisions, beauty, obligation, reasoning, emotion, intelligence, dreams, hope... all that somehow came to be somehow.

Wow, amazing how completely directionless, random forces made you and me.

"...for most, the truth does not really matter-it is the will that is wrong."

-Ravi Zacharias from Can Man Live Without God

This really breaks my heart. It is a powerful reminder to me for why I need to pray in love out of love for those I love. God changes the hearts of men and women. Not arguments. I am sorry friends and family if ever I forgot this lesson and was a barrier to God for you.

Words without meaning.

"...for most, the truth does not really matter-it is the will that is wrong."

-Ravi Zacharias from Can Man Live Without God

If we don't really want to know the truth, if we don't want to change, if we simply don't care... we humans have the ability to discard and dismiss everything. We might change someones mind with words, but it is God who changes the heart.

Birthday Party Brats

If I had to guess, I would say that out of every 100 people I talk to, maybe 3 or 4 really want to figure out what life is really about, to uncover the truth no matter the difficulties. Really in essense, to change.

To change. How many of us really want to change.

This is not the same as wanting to be someone else, or to have a better job or to lose weight. I am talking about you changing. Changing the way you think, understand, behave, view the world, view other people, view money, your responsibility and your accountablity in this life. How many of us are really willing to give up something to get something better off in the distance, to make a large down payment without any immediate payback. How many of us are willing to change based on a promise of better things, but only after a time of hardship.

Are we too comfortable? Is what we are content with really that good? Do we really know what we are sacrificing in life with our apathy? Is the status quo really the best we should hope for? Do we truly see the real value of what we are holding onto so tightly?

Vague questions hey? I've got another illustration that has been on my mind to help me understand this human delusion.

Have you ever been to the birthday party of a little kid who is so insanely focused on the presents that everyone is bringing, that he forgets about the party and the people around him?

The birthday kid barely offers a glance of recognition or a thank you as he hoards whatever colorfully wrapped box comes through the door. The kid is in a crazed frenzy, constantly seeking out more presents, begging to play with what treasure he has at the cost of ignoring everyone around him. Every kind word or inquiry from someone as to how his day is going, is met with impatience and exasperation as he wonders what you brought him or where his other presents are. In essense, rather than recognizing his birthday as a celebration of his life and all who love him, it becomes a day of greed about presents and about what he has.

I think we humans tend to live life this way.

All good things come from God. I have many personal, reasonable and logical reasons for believing that that is true. And like the birthday kid in my illustration, I think we have become too focused on gifts, definitely to the point of obsession. We have lost sight of what is really important in life, we have substituted the gifts as the focus in life, instead of the gift giver.
This is a dangerous thing.

I've spoken on it before, but it is in my opinion worth repeating. God loves us and wants to give us good things, and is happy to see us happy. However, there is a great danger in making the whole point of life about the good things and about mere happiness. The danger, is in the fact that all those things in and of themselves are only suppose to be a part of life, they are not meant to be what life is all about. Food, money, cars, walking, hobbies, clothes, houses, philanthropy, generosity, romance, sex, medicine, career, fame, kids and yes even family...none of these things is meant to be what life is ALL about. They are all amazing, wonderful, beautiful things in life, but they are not to be idols, they are not sufficient or designed to be substitutes for God. None of those things in and of themselves, apart from God, have any ultimate meaning or purpose. This is a hard thing to accept. But there is a beautiful, hopeful, miraculous and brilliant loving alterative.

The alternative is this. When you put God first, and discover who he is to you, and who you are to him, you will discover that God made us to be more then we ever imagined. God made us to matter forever. God gave us the ability to live a life that matters for eternity. God enables what we have and do in life to matter! To matter for eternity! So the love you have for your child, does not only matter for 100 years or a thousand years...it matters forever! The kindess you offer to those in need, or those oppressed does not just matter for their lifetime or yours...it matters forever. The loving, sacrificial act you make that no other man or woman sees...that is done for no other reason but for kindess and love itself...is seen and remembered by God, and thus is given eternal value. Take away God from life, and all you have left is temporary, finite meaning. Take away God from life, and ultimately all you have is dust upon dust.

If all I am is a human animal, the eternal would not matter, the concept would not even exist! But God has given us many abilities and gifts, I believe, as signpost of the truth that we are made for not just this short physical life, but for all eternity. We are made for heaven.

You are made for heaven. Heaven was literally made for you. This is worth discovering. This is worth believing. This is worth asking God about.



“Humans are amphibians - half spirit and half animal. As spirits they belong to the eternal world, but as animals they inhabit time.”
-C.S. Lewis

"Aim at heaven, and you will get earth thrown in; aim at earth, and you will get neither."
-C.S. Lewis

Spirit vs Feelings

I have a illustration in my head, that I would like to tell you about. One that I think is going to help me verbalize the tension I feel in life much more effectively. The following represents a framework, a model. It might be similar to the true reality of our existence, but how close or far to the actual truth I am not certain. It makes sense to me given what I understand about God and life at this point.

Lately, I feel at war with my inner thoughts very often. In my mind a battle is raging to decide the direction that I will go. I am pulled in two directions. I feel like I am dangerously dangling high in the air, pulled taut by two opposing forces. I feel like my Spirit has been awakened, and it is eager to make up ground where my untamed feelings have long reigned.

And so there it is, the source of my tension. The source of my uneasiness. The fight between my Spirit and my 'untamed' feelings.

Let us define the terms in my story.

When it comes to deciding how to live life, 'untamed' feelings, are what we default to. They are close cousins of instinct and what I would guess is part of our animal nature. They decide for us in the heat of the moment, they give us justification for our most basic desires and needs. They are hit or miss, untamed, reckless and often deceiving.

Our Spirit on the other hand, is the friend we don't always want, but the one we always need. It's probably the source of what we call a 'conscience' and it is likely the guide of the transcendent moral code that we hold all humans accountable towards. It is known for coining the golden rule 'Do unto others as you would have them do unto you' throughout the history of humanity.

Unlike our 'untamed' feelings, the Spirit (except in some special or dire circumstances) must be listened to carefully and thoughtfully reflected upon. Whereas 'untamed' feelings are like I said the default, constantly yelling and seeking undue attention. To solidify the illustration, lets use a really overt example of when our Spirit and 'untamed' feelings are at war.

The following illustration is from the vantage point of a man, but hopefully is easy enough for anyone to fill in their own life examples as a guide...

You have a beautiful wife/girlfriend at home who is studying hard for final exams, you on the other hand are at the park with the boys, throwing some football. A very attractive girl walks by... wearing something your mother would not approve of. Your 'untamed feelings' do what they always do, they urge you to satisfy whatever it is your animal self wants. It says to you, "Look, fantasize, stare, flex, shout, growl, comment, say something clever, crave, take, grab, satisfy... what's the harm? As long as you don't break any laws, or actually 'do something' physically, then no one is harmed." It's not cheating or wrong to 'think' in your head you rationalize. Everyone else is doing it, it's natural, it's normal, no harm, don't be so conservative and religious. On and on your untamed feelings can find any way at all to justify the behavior the instinct. Your Spirit, if a squeak is even allowed to enter your mind, is quickly covered with an avalanche of rationalizations, justifications and qualifications. "She wanted to be looked at, look at what she's wearing!" "Its a natural urge, no point fighting it." "It's not as if I'm taking here home, so it's okay it's not cheating and it's not hurting anyone."

It is important to recognize is that the Spirit takes discipline, time and effort to hear. It's always trying to speak, but often we choose to heed the voice of our 'untamed' feelings instead. Think of any human voice you know well (the voice of your mother or brother etc.), you can pick it out of a crowd of hundreds easily because you are trained to hear it, to listen for it. Same thing with the voices of our Spirit and 'untamed' feelings. You can train one or the other to be stronger, to be heard more easily over the other. The tension I was talking about refers to times when those two forces are at similar strength and fighting for your will. Another important thing to note in my story, is that what our individual Spirits are trying to speak to us as individuals, is all from one source. It is not subjective or individual, it is not for us to make up on our own, it is what it is. It is Truth.

So let us consider what the Spirit of our young man in the previous example might say, and ponder if it is similar to what your Spirit might say.

You have a beautiful wife/girlfriend at home who is studying hard for final exams, you on the other hand are at the park with the boys, throwing some football. A very attractive girl walks by... wearing something your mother would not approve of. "Yes, she is very attractive, she is beautiful...but she is so much more then that. She is someones daughter and has a Spirit too, she is not an object, she is not just her shell, she is a person." "Do you know? When you dwell on the physical beauty of other women, you lose sensitivity and awareness of the endless depth of beauty of the one you have already chosen. By always feeding your animal urge to look, and see younger and more beautiful women, you create a habit, an addiction that soon becomes insatiable. You forfeit understanding and experience of deeper love for an endless stream of hollow images and fantasy. You dishonor the one you chose by. You do not act in a way that speaks to her 'you are my chosen one, you are beautiful to me, you are special.' Romance is easy at first, but true love requires effort, sacrifice and choice. Will you do that for her? If you believed sacrificing your animal urges and instincts would make her feel more loved and beautiful would you? If you knew it would change your heart and make you love her in a deeper way would you? She has already given you the love and beauty of her youth, didn't you promise her in those days that you would love her evermore? Will you keep your promise?" When she is busy, sick, wounded, hurt, selfish, distracted and unable to give you everything you need and want now...will you find substitutes for all those things she used to give you? Or will you love her? Give her room to heal and grow. Will you do unto her, what you would want her to do unto you?

The source of the Spirit in my story, some may theorize comes from nature, common sense or just some sort of evolution of tradition and culture. I see that all of those are influences, but definitely not the source. Think of this... Nature we can see as beautiful in certain context, sun setting behind mountains, moonlit ocean etc. But Nature in it's truest form, is actually very cold and unmerciful. The lion eats the deer, the volcano erupts and burns the forest, the preying mantis eats her own mate. Nature begets feelings and instinct. Only God begets the Spirit. Only God can initiate the process of Love begetting love. Here is the beautiful thing about God and life. Although the path is difficult at times, when your feelings begin to listen to and parallel your Spirit, you really begin to live. You live in the light, in the right and in the might :) You are no longer a slave of untamed feelings and emotions.

More needs to be said of all of this. But it's a start.

a small note

a gentle reminder to all I know: every physical thing you value in the here and now will soon be dust. Every hope and dream you have in the world, will either end with your life...or the worlds. Should we not then pay some attention to the eternal? What else can make love last beyond time? bring any reason to suffering and hardship? offer hope and justice beyond the grave? nothing...nothing but God. You may not yet understand God, but the only other alternative is worse...that the final and authoritative answer is nothing. That life is ultimately nothing.

overwheming

So many broken lives.

So many broken families.

So many broken people.

We yell at you God, we blame you whenever we hear of unspeakable evil.

Don't we realize that it is not your fault... it is ours!

Why don't we see that recognizing evil is a gift from you. Should not not evil compel us to reach back for you, not lash out at you?

Why when we are so lost, are we not more compelled to learn who we are, and for what reason that we are. God, forgive us for our delusion and the lies that we believe. Please bring us back to you.

Kant, Kierkegard, Hume and Diderot.

Intellectuals, more brilliant minds than myself. All these men attempted to find a basis for ethics and morality apart from God. They have not succeeded.

"It is not possible to establish a reasonable and coherent ethical theory without first establishing the telos, i.e. the purpose and destiny of human life." -Ravi Zachrias

How to convincingly explain his? I wish C.S. Lewis were blogging this right now, then I would just copy and paste. Really the best thing would be for you to read any book on atheism by Ravi Zacharias. I am reading 'CAN MAN LIVE WITHOUT GOD' right now. Basically the answer for the short term is 'yes' but not to it's full potential. The long term answer is 'no.' If you want to refute this, read it first, then please educated me.

I know a lot of atheist. I love them dearly. I know atheist who are far smarter and morally superior than myself. So please do not assume my fight is with atheist.

My argument is against the belief system of Atheism. Just like how many find the belief system of Christianity or Islam damaging, I truly believe that atheism as a belief system is untenable, and ultimately dangerous and hollow. Is it possible for me not to sound like an arrogant jerk while making these kind of statements? Doubtful. But this is the choice the reader is left with... react emotionally with hostility or thoughtfully respond. I am eager and hopeful about being proven wrong. Because learning where I am wrong brings me closer to the truth. But right now, of sound mind and judgement, after careful consideration over considerable time, I state that to the best of my knowledge and understanding, atheism as a belief system is in my mind objectively and absolutely wrong. I have 101 reasons that I could write down now, but I rather open up a dialogue with friends, family or strangers who come across this. In search for truth and out of love and goodwill, if you disagree please help me understand why.

God, let truth be known. Ironically, God if you don't exist... well then who cares what the truth is. As long as I'm happy who cares what the truth is.

Dostoevski said "If God is dead, than everything is justifiable."

It seems so clear to me, God is not to blame for the disgusting, horrible, suffering and cruelty in this world. It is MAN, it is MANKIND, it is HUMANKIND. If we kill God, and humanity itself becomes its own god completely. Who can we trust to take his place? What leader, politician, mere human can take his place? Are not all humans prone to bribery, selfishness and vulnerable to the insatiable lust for wealth, fame, sex and power? We are all constantly fighting our self serving nature. Consider, is it easier for a child, woman or man to do good or to do evil? Is it easier to fight our bad urges or give into them? What is harder, to do what we want to do, or what we know we 'ought' to do?

This is worth taking the effort to copy. Auschwitz survivor Victor Frankl writes:

If we present man with a concept of man which is not true, we may well corrupt him. When we present him as an automation of reflexes, as a mind machine, as a bundle of instincts, as a pawn of drive and reactions, as mere product of heredity and environment, we feed the nihilism to which modern man is, in any case, prone. I became acquainted with the last stage of corruption in my second concentration camp, Auschwitz. The gas chambers of Auschwitz were the ultimate consequence of the theory that man is nothing but the product of heredity and environment--or, as the Nazis liked to say, "of blood and soil." I am absolutely convinced that the gas chambers of Auschwitz, Treblinka, and Maidanek were ultimately prepared not in some ministry or other in Berlin, but rather at the desks and in lecture halls of nihilistic scientists and philosophers.

God... my mind pleads for his existence not as a crutch for the pain of life, but out of reasoning and thoughtful consideration.*

*i will admit, that my heart does plead for his existence as a comforter for the pain of life.

Runaway! When will you stop running away.

I feel like everyone around me, including myself, are great escapist.

We have a society that is unbelievably good at at escaping/avoiding/differing the difficult questions in life. We have every distraction under the sun to comfort us (but only temporarily) and we have every solution in the world to fix the symptoms of an incomplete existence, but never the source of the darkness in our hearts.

Self help this, Oprah help that, mind over matter this, good advice that... for those of you who like Oprah please forgive my cynicism, but like Frederick Nietzsche, the best intended thoughts and advice will admittedly take you some distance, but if they are ultimately hollow... when fulfilled to their full consequences, you will be left more broken, more lost and reeling at the pain of the betrayal of what was suppose to be your salvation.

That is why we need to think! We need to look at what we believe and truly apply it not only to the fires of reason and logic, but to the questions of our heart, and their day to day application.

Why do we exist? Who are we? What is the ultimate meaning of my life? What is my real purpose in this world? What happens when I die? Does it really matter what I do? what I think?

Leave me alone!

Sometimes God is not the friend you want...but he is always the friend you need.

Right now I 'feel' like I could use some friends to tell me I'm not crazy, that I'm not wrong, that it's all her fault, that my point is totally valid, that he or she doesn't know what they are talking about, that I have a right to feel this way, that I am totally right etc. Basically I think I want some people to tell me what I WANT to hear. To enable me. To stroke my ego.

But GOD won't do that. Instead, he's lovingly, but uncompromisingly showing me my faults. Showing me what I need to work on and change to be more like what he created me to be.

He thinks I'm better than I even think I am! He thinks I'm capable of more then I feel like I am!

Who does he think I can be?!

I could fight him, and be mad at him longer, and mad at the world longer, and feel lonely and depressed longer...except I can remember enough times in my life where that only prolonged my misery. I almost reluctantly am saying..."Okay God, I remember I can trust you...show me what you see."

He shows me, it hurts, I'm wrong, I'm ashamed, he shows me the truth, carries me through it...and it turns out God is exactly the kind of friend I need.

goodmorning God.

Child like faith.

Often that phrase is understood or assumed to be saying "leave your brains at the door."

Faith is one of those words that has such an enormously diverse and personal definition in each of our minds. But in the context of the bible, and what Jesus was talking about...I think we should take another close look.

It is inconsistent with what we know about the life of Jesus to think that what he is after is a thoughtless, mindless, unquestioning flock of zombie sheep. Remember, Jesus/God/Holy Spirit sees past the mere words that we use, and is aware of the deepest parts of the one who ask the questions.

Our mind and ability to understand, compared to God, are much more separated than a childs mind compared to an adult. So even more than a child to an adult, the element of trust is needed when we are in relation to God. Can we trust God when our ability to understand is brought to the limits?

Do not take me as suggesting that critical thinking and asking questions of God should not be done...I am suggesting that the way children approach things is often better then how most adults contend with the issues of God and faith.

Let's compare. When children ask questions...do you remember how there is an endless succession of why? why? why? why? But at the heart of it is a genuine desire for understanding.

Adults, typically have emotional baggage attached to everything they believe...you know in the back of your mind that the consequences of realizing that maybe you are wrong about something

means the difficult task of changing. And as adults we are quite set in our habits. It is so hard to be wrong and to have to change and do things differently.

So I'm suggesting that often when we approach God and faith, as adults we often come with our own self-interest and our own agenda. We twist and manipulate as much as we possibly can everything to make sense in our own personal world view. We forget our limitations and we give our ego far too much credit.

Can I suggest that we soften our hearts towards faith and God. Give the benefit of the doubt that if there is a loving God worth knowing, that everything he wants for us, he wants solely for our own good and benefit. Can we have child like faith, in that when we ask the endless succession of why, we let go of our own agenda and self-interest...and practice a little child like trust.

Be guarded against the guy on TV at 3am saying "for only $3.99 plux tax we will ship you the air that Jesus breathed which will fix your marriage!"

But I think to the man/God who said "Love your neighbor as yourself"

and "clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."

I think to him...we can risk a little trust.

A reminder to myself.

All the head knowledge and reading in the world does not benefit a man if it cannot be directly translated and applied into his life. A lot of philosophy is empty in that regard. A lot of self help books offer freedom and salvation from every vice and addiction by the power of only believing in yourself. A lot of books promise escape from depression and meaningless by simply chanting a few catch phrases every day.

Where the reality of life meets philosophy, only the truth can cure. And boy oh boy, few things are more real than the feelings you have with an angry wife when you yourself are angry.

So the acid test: does what God say about love, marriage, understanding of human nature and forgiveness etc. stand up to real life?

Yes it does.

I didn't say I don't get mad, or want to use horse tranquilizers on a certain someone. But that is my animal self. The part of me that listens to God transcends my instinct and destructive self. When I choose to listen. I can choose not to listen.

There is a better way to deal with the situation Nathan. Go say sorry for your part, and love despite your feelings. Those romantic feelings will come back in due time. Maybe as early as tomorrow morning :)

Truth

Truth, of course, must be stranger then fiction, for we have made fiction to suit ourselves.

-G.K. Chesterton

This quote seems to ring so true...especially when considering made up beliefs and religions, that are brought about from attempts at reconciling lack of understanding with creative writing.

If we are trying to understand God beyond a surface level, shouldn't we expect to have to dive deep for an answer, sometimes waiting years?

Faith, can be defined a million ways...one of the ways I see it, is that faith is what carries you through the questions that logic and reason have not yet been able to answer. Please do not take this as suggesting that reason and logic have no part in my faith and belief, they are in fact an enormous part of it...what I want to make clear is that when one ponders God and eternity...there will ALWAYS be unanswerable questions...there is no end to the depth of God. I would also say that if my beliefs at the fundamental level collided with logic and reason...it would not be Truth from God...but my own deception and misunderstanding. I have yet to find that in my fundamental understanding of Christianity...and as always I am grateful for anyones insight into this...atheist, theist or pantheist.

C.S. Lewis discusses this in Mere Christianity...Book 2: chapter 2, 3-5th paragraph abouts...he says "Reality, in fact, is usually not something you could have guessed."

There are a lot of spoon fed depictions and caricatures of God, religion and faith in the world of media now a days...do you really think it is a fair and accurate representation?

God, I think I like writing to you :)

Oh morality, how beautiful a creation you are.

Where does Morality come from? This is an important question.

Without a higher power, or a higher standard that transcends humans...the only guiding force we have is Nature.

If nature is all we have, our decisions are arguably completely under the umbrella of the philosophical concept of 'determinism' (basically everything is a consequence of the past, we have no free will).

If nature is all that exist, our sense of right and wrong are products of evolution, genetics, social convention, survival etc.

So we lose the ability to say in any concrete way what is good and what is evil. We can only say I "feel" like that is right or wrong, or my 'preference' is this or that.

Without a transcendent moral standard, a man killing a child (while we may not understand it) is guided by the same force of nature as a snake killing a rabbit. Some people I know would agree with this. They are not stupid or ignorant, I think they are just intellectual and analytical to the point of forgetting that as humans, we 'know' and we 'feel' different. And while 'knowing' and 'feelings' are not scientific qualifications...they are still a reality.

Basically, if you think something is truly wrong or right, good or evil (for all cultures and humans who ever existed), if you think a man should be guided by a moral standard above his own choosing, if you think we humans have something above our mere animal instincts...it all cries out that a higher moral standard really exist.

And where does that higher moral standard come from? It must be a moral law giver. No human, but someone or something that holds all humans accountable to it.

I heard a story about a Nazi official who was being charged for war crimes. One of the defenses that his lawyers pushed was that according to the law in his own country of Germany, his slaughtering of thousands of Jews and others was truly no different in his culture and current legal systems than killing diseased livestock to prevent the spread of infection. It was argued that by enforcing the 'world courts' standards of him and not those of his own country...the 'world courts' were being prejudiced and using power and might to enforce their own sense of right and wrong.

Is he right?

Thankfully, someone else in the courtroom after hearing him yelled out something to the tune of "Sir, do we not all have a Law above the law of the land?"

I think if you look closely at what makes us human, you will see that there is a deeper reason why it is "Wrong" for a man to forcefully separate a mother from her infant children to serve his own personal needs. The atheist can answer "Well sir, her children need milk to grow and survive, and really that behavior does not benefit society as a whole...it is not natural" and the man could retort "well sir, I need the woman to fulfill my own natural needs, and perhaps to continue my own genetic information, which is superior to that of the last man" and the atheist can reply "it's simply wrong!" "but it is right for me" says the man.

And carry on the conversation indefinitely and if neither changes their mind we have two options I can think of...the atheist in this story can gather a bunch of other like minded men and over power the one (which is majority rules and dominates the minority). Or else he can appeal to the higher moral law, that I think we all have and use, but that not all of us recognize yet. You knbow it in your heart, somethings are JUST WRONG.

Why in this world do we have to justify every action we do with endless debate and banter!? I think we are being tricked into trading away our common moral standard, for the pleasures and deceptions of a world in which each man or woman is her own god, free to choose and he or she pleases. It sounds good in a sense doesn't it? But with terrible, terrible consequences.

Another thing all we humans have in common...our great capacity for selfishness and evil.

Do you really think you are so different from the gangsters in Africa who rape and kill to fulfill their natural instincts to reproduce and survive. Put in their situation, with all the comforts and luxuries we have stripped away...how long before you act in the same way? how long before you could justify it to yourself?

Even if I lost every other reason I have to believe in God, I would choose to stay with him for this reason of morality alone. I am honest enough, and insightful enough to realize without him and left to my own devices in a clearly sick and hurting world...I could justify and rationalize any sick and depraved act. Revenge, stealing, killing, hating...what isn't up for grabs in a world ruled not by God, but by nature alone?

Facebook scares me.

I opened up a facebook account a couple of hours ago. And to be perfectly honest it scares me.

This is my thought progression: What does it mean to be known? How many people do you really know? How many people really know you?

Given a choice, all of us would prefer to be liked rather then hated.

Given a choice, all of us would rather be accepted than judged.

Given a choice, all of us would rather be seen as smart rather than ignorant.

Given a choice, all of us would like to be understood rather then labelled.

This is why facebook scares me. It only offers snap shots of who we really are, and is a terribly inaccurate picture that can be misrepresented and twisted with very little effort. No matter how much you write, post or blog...it will only ever be a fraction of the total picture. Think about all the assumptions we make person to person when we first meet someone...imagine the potential for miscommunication when we have only the internet as a tool.

By being totally honest and open, I am opening up the potential for a very personal and at the very core of who I am attack. Not all my beliefs are accepted, and many of the things I write will be misinterpreted. I feel like my own wife half the time does not really understand me! What am I expecting from the limitations of the internet?!

I guess it all comes down to: is the risk worth the goal? The goal is to continue to figure out what life is all about, learning and sharing with as many people as possible. The goal is to be shown where I am wrong, and to learn what is right and true (not just for myself, but for EVERYONE) The essentials are all the same for us aren't they?

As long as I can keep my heart and conscience clear before God...if I really believe that he is the most important thing in life...I will be okay. I may be persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.

Right now I think it's worth it. If my blog and facebook account are gone next week...it probably means I've changed my mind! :)

A warning to myself is that facebook is a tool, with great potential for good, but like all technology with an equal potential for evil.

Take this once last thought of mine as I post:

God, I hope you know what I am doing.

(I think of it only one way in my head, but as soon as I write it, I can see at least three ways for it to be interpreted! Sigh...we need Avatar pony tails for communication)

The point of my existence.

This is what I choose to do with my life.

Love people, as best as I can.

Right now, as best as I can means helping people to see their inherent worth.

What is your inherent worth? How God sees you.

How does God see you?

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. (paraphrased: We'll work out the details later, but just so you know, you are worth everything)

important note: your value to God has existed since you did. The above quote is to show you how much you matter. No how much you can matter or will matter, it is set in stone...you are precious and you are loved.

Or for those who do not believe in God, a more concrete answer...

The Value of a Human Life: $129,000

Time Magazine- Kathleen KINGSBURYTuesday, May. 20, 2008

http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1808049,00.html

Who am I?

I work as a nurse. My genes classify me as male. I am labelled as Chinese. Interest of mine are varied. Things that make me passionate include helping people, and reading about life. People who feel the emotion love for me include my wife, my family and some of my friends.

When I die.

I will be a memory for at best 2 more generations.

Within 3 generations I will be a record somewhere in some photo album or government records. Within 10 generations I will be a very small part of some peoples DNA.

Within 100 generations, even if I could be a famous movie star right now, or the Prime Minister of Canada, I will be a flicker of mention in the most remote part of some information database.

Within 200 generations, if the Earth is even still inhabitable...all supposed meaning, purpose, goals, loves, hopes, dreams I ever had...all the good or bad I ever did to anyone else...it will all be virtually non-existent.

Within 1,000,000 generations...give or take a little...I will be, will cease to be, and there is nothing more than dust.

If there is no God, no one hears the deepest hidden cries of our heart. If there is no God, we are only what we achieve or produce. If there is no God, whether you do right or wrong ultimately is only important for survival or gaining more pleasure and less pain. If there is no God, our value, our meaning, our existence has a definite expiry date. If there is no God, ultimately...there is no meaning. Life is ultimately meaningless.

Did humankind make up the idea of God? Or do we consider God because that is how he made us?

9 days later.

I was going to stop blogging all together. It just seemed like a lot of extra effort.

The last 24 hours has challenged my idea however that sharing deep and personal thoughts in a public forum is a waste of time. Why the change of heart? Yesterday I met for lunch with some really wonderful people, who had VERY different beliefs than myself. Of course we had similarities, we all are living life as best as we can, loving and caring for the world as best as we know how. We all had in common the desire to be loved, to help others. We all feel pain, anger etc. I learned a lot about the world from them, and I had a wonderful time discussing life.

Essentially (stating the obvious) we are all sacred and precious humans in the eyes of God.

What if there is no God my atheist friends will ask? Well then our value we place on human life is simply what social conventions, or DNA or some other naturalistic/automatic factors compels us to feel or believe (but THAT is a whole other discussion we will discuss later).

Back to the point, whether you believe in God or not, I hope you believe that all human life is equal and of enormous, immeasurable value. I think we would all like to say that we believe that, but I question whether our lives demonstrate that. You find out what you really believe when you look at where you spend the most money, time and attention. Ponder that please.

This is my last point in this post.

I have no new ideas. Everything I know, I learned from someone else, or else God showed me. (NO he did not tell me there is a spaceship behind the moon...it's a horse and buggy! jk).

So my reason for blogging and sharing my deep thoughts, risking mockery and ridicule...probably the most from a certain childhood friend who lives in water (inside joke).

My reason for blogging, is that I am starting to care about the people I know. The more I search for the truth, and the closer I get to understanding God and who I am to him, the more my heart changes...and the more important everyone else in the world becomes.

I think all of us, myself included, need to always be sharing what we think is important in life, what is harmful, what is beneficial. Because when it comes right down to it, can any of us deny that some ways of living life are better than others?! Yes I did make a absolute statement! Someways of living ARE BETTER than others. So we should be talking about that. What is the meaning of life? What is the purpose of life? What is the best way to live life? What is the Truth about life?

Sigh.

I was so angry this morning. I felt wronged and criticized unfairly. I felt like a great injustice was done to me. I lost my temper, but I had a good reason, I had justified explanations for my temper. I felt like I was right to feel the way I did.

And it was only when I appealed to God, that I was compelled to recognize that losing my temper was my fault. This is a harder lesson to accept than some might think. What it does is forces you to stop blaming everyone and everything else. And look deep into yourself.

Life will always throw garbage, pain and suffering at you. Where to place the blame for that is another question. What is important to take note of however, is how much poorly and ineffectively so many of us deal with that garbage, pain and suffering.

If your feeling is anger, blaming others and a desire for revenge...that is human, that is what it means to be a person who feels.

What separates us from the animals, is that we can choose how we carry on. We can choose to be subject to feelings or instinct...or to overcome and rise above them.

I just realized something....

Question:

What is the 'original' blog?

Answer:

Two possibilities:

1) The act of thinking for those who don't know that God hears them.

2) Prayer for those who know that God can hear them.

So look at me mom, I am praying in a 'modern' way.

I have an advantage over some bloggers I think. I don't have to worry as much about not being followed by anyone...because I really know in the deepest part of me, that God is hearing this blog as clearly as he hears my shouts of anger or my songs of praise. Except this is encoded in 01010101010101000011101010.

Am I really praying though? Or just being typical western-minded and massaging my ego?

I guess I will talk to God this way, and more 'traditionally' and see if I can figure it out. If this is not a useful way for me to pray...then very soon the magnets of some giant Google mainfram hardrive will scramble all these 0101010101110110010101010011's and I'll have to settle for all this simply being recorded somewhere in eternity. Where neither moths, nor thieves, nor CEO's can destroy or steal.

That's a beautiful thought to me. That the little peeps and squeaks of my heart and treasured by God.

If you think that last thought sounds extremely egotistic, I wonder if you've met God in 'that' way yet? Because I am just stating the fact that he really does listen and care.

Have you heard of TMZ? some celebrity show that really is a benefit to society (Sarcarsm THICK). God is watching that (he is omniscient) but what he sees and what he thinks about it all is so utterly different.

God. I am going to stop typing now. I am done talking for now. I am ready to listen.

You think you're special? Am I special?

Think about it.

If you blog, no matter how you cover up yourself in layers of humility, humbleness, self-deprecation etc.

You are still blogging. You are still putting yourself out there. You by the very act of typing, are acting as if you are special. As if you have something to say, that is worth someone somewhere hearing.

This is one argument 'What about the depressed, suicidal, lonely, pitiful person who really subconsciously and consciously thinks they are worthless....what about when they blog?'

This is what I think....no matter what you think about yourself, whether you think you are Sexy Awesome Hotshot or Lowly Pathetic Snail...you blog...because whether you realize it or not, you ARE special.

And not because I say so...but because I think as much as some of us try to deny it or write it off as something else. Even deeper than our subconscious is the understanding that we are special. I think God put it there.

So I am blogging, I don't think I am Sexy Awesome Hotshot or Lowly Pathetic Snail. But a part of me believes that I am special. That God really thinks so.

I think if I forgot that or really fought to deny that, and my wife died, and I broke my neck and couldn't move my arms or legs...than I might want to commit suicide.

Born out of frustration and a scream from my heart.

I may as well say it upfront. Than I can't be accused of misleading behavior, trickery or deception.

1) I believe in God.

2) I believe in Jesus.

3) I am not a fanatic.

4) I believe in questioning everything to find out the, Truth.

5) I don't understand a lot of things.

6) The things I do understand, I question... and also wonder why so many other people don't understand them or want to think about them.

7) This list will change and grow and shrink. I am open to points 1) and 2) being challenged and mocked...but I think I would give up everything for 1) and 2), yet I don't feel like 3).