Gorazde. 1992-1995.

I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now, I see.

The true depth and depravity of rape and murder cannot be understood outside the heart of God.

Of course many of us feel outrage and disgust when we are told stories of murder and rape. Families butchered, children slaughtered.

But on the other hand, why are so many of us DOING those things? For pleasure even.

US....WE....all of us...humans.

We have a tendency to separate ourselves from the depraved rapist and murderers....we distinguish them as pigs and animals. I know this, because I have done it myself.

We separate ourselves from those who do what we consider great evil. We separate the us, the humans, from them, the 'animals.'

It causes great discomfort to me to realize that this is exactly what the criminal and evil 'animals' of history have done as well.

Rapist, murders, genocidal tyrants....they compartmentalize some humans as human and others as livestock. It is difficult to murder a mother, but quite easy to butcher a cow.

God...in the light of His truth...has opened my eyes again to the reality that every human is human. Every human has worth, and every human has capacity for both divine inspired goodness, and divine rejecting evil.

The blame for sins and suffering of the world rest on all our shoulders.

God help us, because he is the only one who can.

Humans let loose by God to their own devices, can never hold onto the idea of real human equality for more than a fleeting moment. Our laws may state that all are equal...but our actions scream out that our own personal comfort is worth more than thousands elsewhere. It is overwhelming to see and contemplate the need and suffering of those around the world....but how easily we put them to the side.

Without Gods continuous correction, we not only love ourselves more than all else...we worship ourselves above all else....including God.

I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now, I see.

I see more evil then I can take in right now

At this particular moment I am tasting a bitter stew of frustration, anger and despair.

Because for me (and for you) He is always there...I am directing the sharp arrows of these feelings towards God.

Yes, GOD. Creator of all Heaven and Earth. The reason and cause of Everything. God the source of Love and Everything GOOD and Holy. The Beginning and the End of all power.

I am screaming in my spirit "WHY IS IT SO EASY TO REJECT YOU GOD!?!?!"

I HATE reading and hearing about other human beings treating other human beings as less than dog food. I hate how the rest of us ignore it. I hate how I ignore atrocity.

I hate how human beings made to be the dearly loved children of God, meant to spread good...have chosen instead to steal beautiful brides on their honey moon, rape them then feed them to starved dogs as sport. This is EVIL. Evil because every woman and child was designed and MADE to be cherished, protected and loved. THIS is the MEANING of Human life. TO love and be loved.

And so. The greatest perversion of humanity is to hate. The greatest depth you can fall as a human being, the greatest way you can fail is to hate instead of love.

How does one worship God? I think many of us worship God unknowingly. Like Paul said to the romans...you pray to a nameless God....but here He is. You worship Him when you do what you were made to do, spread good and love. To know Him and his love for you. And how do we know Him? Why is it so easy to reject Him?

Probably because even when He comes in human form, even when we see the divine Son of God in front of us, even when He inserts himself into human history in an undeniable way....we still use the power of choice from God to reject Him. We go a step further and we crucify the best evidence for God... the tangible love of a sacrificed, perfect and loving Son. This is the only appropriate time to emphatically spit out loudly the name 'Jesus Christ!'

Exploring faith and reason

If there was no evidence for God or Jesus Christ, would it be commendable to still believe in either? It would be as commendable as believing in the flying spaghetti monster.

Everyone puts their faith in something. The real questions we need to ask is what exactly are you putting your faith in. Does it deserve it? Is it real? Is it good? Is it true? Faith for the sake of faith is useless, unless what you have faith in is real, good and true.

A few verse from the Bible:

Hebrews 11:1

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.

2 Corinthians 5:7

We live by faith, not by sight.

1 Corinthians 15: 12-18

But if it is preached that Christ has been raised from the dead, how can some of you say that there is no resurrection of the dead? 13 If there is no resurrection of the dead, then not even Christ has been raised. 14 And if Christ has not been raised, our preaching is useless and so is your faith. 15 More than that, we are then found to be false witnesses about God, for we have testified about God that he raised Christ from the dead. But he did not raise him if in fact the dead are not raised. 16 For if the dead are not raised, then Christ has not been raised either. 17 And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins. 18 Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ are lost. 19 If only for this life we have hope in Christ, we are of all people most to be pitied.

As a believer in God and Jesus Christ, I feel I have very good reason to believe in both.

There is evidence to look at, and that “evidence demands a verdict.”

A word from Alister McGrath:

Faith is like reinforced concrete. Concrete which is reinforced with a steel framework is able to stand far greater stress and strain than concrete on its own. Experience which is reinforced with understanding will not crumble easily under pressure. Again, faith is like the flesh and bones of a human body. Just as the human skeleton supports the flesh, giving it shape and strength, so understanding supports and gives shape to Christian experience. Without the skeleton, the human body would collapse into a floppy mass. Without flesh, a skeleton is lifeless, hollow and empty; without the skeleton, flesh lacks shape, form and support. Both flesh and bones are needed if the body is to grow and to function properly. Faith needs the vitality of experience if it is to live – and the support of understanding if it is to survive. So reinforce your faith with understanding.

A kiss would be all that is needed.

I seek God out, I strain to hear him. My intellect, my effort, my energy I dispense without restraint in knowing him and searching him out. I want to hear from Him! I want to know his heart, his thoughts!

And sometimes, like in my last post, he 'just' kisses me :)

Don't think I am so naive as to not see the potential for mockery and embarrassment in my analogy of God as a young girl, and me as a young boy...in adolescent love! :)

It is simply the picture that came into my head, to explain something that is beyond words.

What I mean to say, is that one solitary and real moment with God...explains what libraries and a life time of searching could not.

It would be a mistake to take that as me saying that searching, and learning are ineffective endeavours in the ends of knowing God. I am just saying that in comparison, actually meeting God heart to heart puts everything in its proper place. Namely, under his deep and unfathomable Love.

A kiss would be all that is needed.

Imagine a boy, in love with a girl.

Just friends on paper, they met a week ago. The boy over hears whispers of a conversation that to him suggest of the possibility that the girl might love him too. But he is restrained by doubt and insecurity. Did he hear right? Was his heart playing tricks on him?

Being of a sensitive and fragile heart, and inexperienced in the games and tricks of romance...he dare not act on his suspicions. But he longs to know the answer that stirs his heart most, is he loved back or not?

Of course soon he is totally consumed by curiosity and his insatiable need to know the truth! The boy analyzes and studies every aspect and minute detail of her interactions with him, and her conversations with others. The boy, to the casual observer engages in everyday and polite conversation with her family and friends. But in his mind he is dissecting and looking at every possible angle for clues as to whether she loves him or not. All his thoughts all day long, circle endlessly, wave after wave, back and forth...does she love me? Or not?

One day, fatigued, exasperated and disappointed his hope begins to wane. Doubt and insecurity waste no time in pushing themselves into his thoughts. Anger hisses out like water droplets on a hot pan, depression settles on him like a cloak of iron.

The boy without purpose stumbles down the street, not noticing the girl who has come up alongside him. She grabs his hand, but he is so numbed with disappointment that he hardly notices the warmth of her hand. She tugs on him on him gently, which feels unusually strong (likely due to his weakened state) and he turns to stare at her blankly. She kisses his cheek. It touches the corner of his lips, leaving him no doubt as to in what manner it was meant. He now knows he is loved.

It is even possible to have real Faith...without a proper reason?

There is a difference between a psychotic mans belief and a reasonable mans Faith.

The variety and distortion of beliefs in this world is seemingly limitless. People choose to believe and are convinced of all sorts of bogus and demonstrably false things. How do we distinguish between the reasonable and the false? I promise you that 'your feelings' are not sufficient measuring tools.

I ask this both to the believer and non-believer. Why do you believe what you believe? Are there good reasons? How sure are you that your beliefs are not absurd, contradictory or incoherent?

Again, it is even possible to have real Faith...without proper understanding of the reason? If you claim to know God and love him...then your reasons are at the very least that he has changed your life in a way that is impossible for you to have done yourself. If not. If there is no hint of a majestic, divine and miraculous change...could he not just a product of your imagination?

I believe God exist, and I believe God intends to CHANGE people into becoming who he made them to be. I believe he wants to perform miracles in our lives. I believe he wants to change other people lives through our hands.

If you don't know why you believe in God. I guess I just want you to sit with Him...and think about it. Because it IS something that demands to be shared. And can hardly be anything but the Focal point of all meaning and life.

If he is real to you. And if you are convinced.

another one goes to where?

I had to tell a man that he may not live to see the next day, he was compos mentis. He had by choice rejected all family and friends. He was rich in money, apathy and total indifference. His gifts, love, thoughts and concern were in service only to himself. There are many things worse than a painful death. When we replace Gods love for us, with self-love, we become our own god and sub-conciously live to turn others into our servants. All our gifts and love turn inward, and they wither and die.

Love is not a human construct, it is a gift from God. It is God. It was made to be given back and to be shared. Love ceases to be love when it is only for yourself.