I am six pages into a book called 'Has Christianity Failed You?'
I had to put it down this afternoon because a thought was tugging at me. I felt compelled to ask myself carefully... Why do I believe?
I did not start reading this book because I think Christianity has in any way failed me recently. In fact, this last year I have studied the question of God and Jesus more intensely than any other time in my life. It has been incredible. I have had my eyes open to a whole new world of understanding. I have glimpsed a much clearer, coherent, dangerous and beautiful reality. My faith is stronger. My convinction is greater. My questions are deeper. My purpose is clearer. My heart is softer. My love for humanity and myself is truer.
Why do I believe? There are a thousand and more reasons, pieces of evidence and clues that build up and support my faith. But at the core of it lies something completely unacademic and completely human.
I believe because I have felt what it is to be truly Loved. And the experience of that Love has changed me.
The love I am talking about can never be comprehensively or adequately explained with everyday human experiences. We see mere shadows of it in our day to day lives, and light glimpses of it in the stories, moments and experiences that are memorable and profound to us.
What is it to be truly Loved? I will try to be clearer and define it for you later. But you have already seen many things that hint of it and point to it.
A fathers love for his daughter.
A mothers love for her son.
A soldier risking his life to save a child.
A teacher mentoring a difficult child.
A friend sacrificing his life for friend.
A son forgiving his father.
A young man courting the love of his life.
An old woman holding the hand of her dying husband.
Lately, I half-reluctantly admit, I have been crying much more then usual. Certain songs, stories, news clippings, parts of movies, speeches...they are touching me in deep ways.
What is happenings is when I weep, the deepest parts of my spirit and soul, are remembering and experiencing the love that God continually showers on me throughout life.
I told you I would define it. But honestly...John 3:16...your experience of that will be the best definition I could come up with. You don't deserve it, you could not earn it, but it is offered to you in sincere and deepest love, with no cost but your consent.
